Category: Writers Block
By Stargazer2
Author's note: so this is ultra hilarious. I was taking a short break and clearing out my files. I found this and read it over. I am surprised I still have it, and I do have a point, here, However, be warned that it is a little absurd if I may say, myself… Enjoy. so read, laugh loads, and review.!!!!!3
1 plot4
This is crucial and you should have this developed even before the writing of the thing. Don't think you can go along and try a plot as you go, it will most likely collapse, and you will end up with a whole story with no point to it. It's like rambling on about nothing. Make a strong plot with what you probably learnt in second or third grade. A beginning, a middle and an end is required. Make sure there's conflict, and that it is doable. Make sure it's quite specific, and make sure it doesn't go general.5
Oh, my plot will be just him fighting and his troubles.6
That won't take you very far, but this will…7
Well, my plot is he fights, with people surrounding him. He's fighting for firewood, and he needs to completely get the whole stock of it, because otherwise he'll not survive. So, he has great trouble going through it because he's discovering tact as he does.8
Yes, that's better.9
2 make some sense10
No, I don't mean don't create fantasies, but most readers like it to be somewhat believeable. Most readers heads will start spinning after something really strange has happened.11
The streets was buzzing with heavy traffic, and people were honking there horns while shouting at other cars to get out of the way. Traffic stopped, as Sally fell off her flying carpet. Then she seem to land safely with no cars running over her, Everything was at ease. She got up rather relaxed, and just walked to the sidewalk. She held her bag and only thought of shopping.12
First concern with this kind of plot, there's none, or I perceive very little. There's quite a bit of illogical things going on. First the road is suppose to be busy, well, so… okay, how do traffic stop? Would everyone really stop if a girl is falling out of the sky? Do people really care that much? I would imagine cars crashing more likely and not this all the cars stop! It makes no sense. Not everyone is that nice you got to remember. I might stop, but anyone else, maybe not. If the world is that nice, then, there'll be no such thing as war. Secondly, what happens when someone jumps off a building? They survive whole and happy? Do they survive? Maybe, but they shall not be in any fine condition. Well, unless that person is god. Sally though is not God therefore this fine condition thing will not apply to her, I'm afraid. So… my next question is where is the cars? They vanished? They all went to heaven? They all just disappeared, and you don't have a clue? Well, I find that amusing if that is so. So the cars should be in a panic and trying to stop. Well, okay, last point, If she's not dead, how could she be walking to the sidewalk if she is injured really badly? Well, If a medwitch mends her, okay, I believe you, but how can this person do that? There's cars, remember?13
3 characterization14
This is a main element of the story or it becomes vague without knowing about the people and what they are like. You can only be involved in the story a little, because you can't even begin to understand or see them. Oh, make the traits reasonable, and not obviously fake. If your character's human they shouldn't have blue, purple, green, silver, or abnormal skin colors. There is loads of existing skin colors so use those, because people can actually believe that your character is real. If you told me Celena has blue and silver skin, I might assume selena was a alien. Don't be vague about the descriptions either, because then the readers will question what the things look like. If you say George had eyes, and skin, most readers will most likely respond with a I know that, isn't that a little obvious? Also, avoid using the word Normal, as in Normal eye color, because readers will not know what you mean. Nothing is normal. It varies from person to person. To me being blind is totally normal, but to you it's not. To you reading and writing print is easy and regular, to me, not so much.15
4 not a timeline16
Remember this is the final piece not the prewrite, and not the rough draft. We don't need to here you ramble on and on about things that you are planning. Add details, and if you mneed to stretch things then do that.17
5 No marysues18
Characters that are either perfect or controlling ruins the story. They drag all the attention and power for themselves. That story tends to collapse quickly, and other characters tend to be stuck and unable to play along, unless all of them are marysues. Yes, please, don't throw yourself in there so you can have wonderful adventures, because that will turn out as a huge possibility of mary sue.19
6 Be reasonable with couples20
No, no enemies are going to date if they were still enemies 24 hours before. No one will drop down to their knees and bawl for forgiveness and have the other person convinced in just a days time. Imagine this…21
Your worse enemy comes up to you, they drop down to their knees dramatically, and they bawl for forgiveness, "forgive me, forgive me! I'll never do it again!"22
You are going to forgive them just like that? Be realistic? Unless you were four or something, no you would not do that. If you want to do something like it, give it time. Timing is everything. Feeling sorry for someone is something else though.23
7 Try spelling, punctuating, and making the grammar look right.24
Okay, I know if you are a basic writer you can't do these well, but please try your best. Imagine your favorite writer writing illiterately would the publisher look at there manuscript? Remember this isn't just a chatroom/board post or a text message, but it's a story. Writing this in a text message is fine…25
Thx brb btw r u leavin?26
In a book, not so much…27
Sometimes spelling makes it difficult to read and can be misunderstanding.28
I have been cooking.29
I have bean cooking30
I have ben cooking.31
See how confusing those sentences got?32
Yes, that's the idea. Your readers will then have to play a game called decoding, and it's not fun when you are trying to read a piece of written work. If you are good at English, You might be able to tell, but for others not so much. I translate misspelled words all the time, but some people… people just don't have the patience. Most takes you as a big joke because of it. The best solution is to let people read over your story and edit it. Don't give to only a bunch of your best friends, because little will be done there. Give to someone that can really critique. Also, if possible get a dictionary, and leave it at your side when writing. Whenever you need it, please reference it. Also, check out dictionary(com) because that will definitely help too.33
8 flow34
Imagine you were walking along the road. Would you rather walk on broken and messily chunky bits of road or smooth well paved things? I would not walk on the former, so the latter for me. Same with writing. The smoother the better. Your readers can get confused, and not know what you are trying to say. We won't be needing chunks, at the publishers, but if you could pave them over with more details maybe taking it wouldn't be that bad. If something is chunky, a reader won't even want to finish the first page unless if they have to.35
9 pace36
Well, so, Someone is racing through there paper and it just sounds rushed. That deals with pace. So, you have to control that. Not too fast, because then no one could tell one event from another and frustration builds that way. You can only drag it out to a certain extent as well. Driving it way out doesn't help either. Why? That is because you tend to drag it too far and your reader now falls asleep before th
I'd consider these good, basic instructions, though it's sad they are needed as one would think at least some of this is just common sense (which to some it isn't)
I'd also offer that it's important to know the difference and proper use of showing versus telling, as well as when and when not to provide background exposition. Nothing seems to annoy people more than a huge text asside of background or semi-related information which could just as easily be encorperated in a more suitable manner.
I agree, you are quite right, there.
Well, it was just some of the passages I wrote that buggs me.